Imagine you have a powerful web analytics tool named "Free Web Analytics" and the freedom to divide your data into as many segments as your creativity (and patience) allows. Sounds great, right? Well, here's a little insight into the endless possibilities and the slight absurdities that can come with it.

Segmentation on Steroids
With "Free Web Analytics", there are no limits to segmentation. You can segment your visitors by city, country, used social media channel, model of their mobile device, and even whether they drink coffee while surfing your site or not (okay, maybe not yet, but we're working on it).

Welcome to the City of Data
Imagine being able to segment your visitors by cities. Not just big metropolises, but every conceivable city. From New York to the smallest village so tiny it only has one street and a cow named Berta. You could find out if Berta likes your website!

Country-Wise Analysis
Why stop at cities? With "Free Web Analytics", you can break down your data by countries. See how popular your website is in France or if you have a loyal penguin fan club in Antarctica.

Social Media Adventures
Then there are the social media segments. Find out whether your visitors come to you via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or through a mysterious message in a bottle. The possibilities are endless!

Device Specifications
And now to the devices. You can find out if your website is popular among users of old-fashioned Blackberries or the latest smartphones. You might even discover that someone with a fridge with internet access visits your page (yes, that's a thing).

Business Visitors
For the more serious analysts, there's the option to segment business visitors. Find out which companies visit your site and whether the CEO of that big tech company might have just read your latest blog post.

The Absurd Side of Segmentation
Now that you have all these segmentation options, what's stopping you from finding out how many left-handed people who like "Game of Thrones" and live in yellow houses visit your website? Or maybe you're more interested in users who like to wear socks with sandals while web surfing?

Conclusion
"Free Web Analytics" offers you a world of possibilities - some useful, some maybe a bit too specific. But one thing is certain: With such granular segmentation options, you are just a few clicks away from discovering the most secretive and bizarre patterns of your web traffic. Have fun exploring - and don't forget to check if Berta the cow has visited your website today!